So, I bought all the Star Wars Blu-rays. I'd been holding off for an official re-release of the unaltered theatrical versions of the original trilogy, but since it looks like that's probably not happening, and the Harmy despecialized editions have satisfied me as far as that goes, I went ahead and bought them. It's also been a really long time since I've watched the prequels (I've never owned them on DVD and only owned Episode 1 on VHS, so I don't think I've actually seen any of them since Episode 3 was in theaters) and I've been curious to see if they're as bad as I remembered, so I just marathoned the prequels today.
Going in, I was expecting them to be bad, but decided I was going to try to get as much enjoyment out of them as I could. With that in mind, here are a lot of words about my updated opinion of each Star Wars prequel:
Episode 1: The Phantom Menace
I mean, it's a bad movie. Jar Jar is every bit as annoying as I remembered, and is on screen way too much. I feel really sorry for Jake Lloyd, because Anakin was given the worst lines in the movie and it's obvious Lucas has no idea how to direct child actors. Also, I plugged my ears and went "LALALA I'M NOT LISTENING" every time midichlorians were mentioned, which happens more often than I remembered. It's brought up at least three times that I counted. Lucas REALLY wanted to make sure the audience understood his boring, pointless technobabble that tries to turn the Force from a mystical thing into some bad sci-fi bullshit that doesn't belong in Star Wars.
Not that it's all bad. The action sequences (the pod race, lightsaber fights, space battle, etc) are mostly fun, with the main exception of the ground battle between the Gungans and the droids, which spends most of its time just showing Jar Jar being annoying. I mean, you can't really go wrong with lightsabers and things going pew pew and blowing up, which this movie does pretty well for the most part. Also, and this goes for all three of these movies, watching it on my big home theater speakers made it more fun than it otherwise probably would have been, because good lord do these movies sound good. Whatever other problems this movie has, its soundtrack isn't one of them. Also, I like the sound Amidala's blaster makes. "Wah! Wah! Wah!"
Anyway, it's still a pretty bad movie, but with my expectations properly set, I got enough enjoyment out of it to make it feel like it was worth the time I spent watching it.
Episode 2: Attack of the Clones
So, I mean... it's a really bad movie. Worse than The Phantom Menace, honestly. As bad as it is, at least TPM looks like it's trying to have fun, even if it goes overboard with the goofiness to the point of just being embarrassing. AotC goes completely in the opposite direction, takes itself way too seriously, and it just doesn't work. It has one of the worst love stories in the history of cinema. Anakin is a whiny, mass-murdering creep, and I'm just like... what the hell do you see in him, Padme?
On the good side, uh... less Jar Jar, I guess? It still has lightsabers and things going pew pew and blowing up, but for some reason most of the fights didn't really resonate with me, probably because most of them seemed pointless. Especially the droid factory platformer video game section. Why does that whole sequence even exist? Also, Yoda with a lightsaber is stupid. The only part that was really interesting at all was Obi-wan going around playing detective, but that's probably just because Ewan McGregor is so dreamy that he can make anything work just by being on-screen.
Overall, I spent most of the movie feeling bored, and was starting to wonder if marathoning these was a good idea.
Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith
So, yeah, I mean, it's... wait, actually not a bad movie? What?
Hell, I'm just going to come out and say it: I think this is a genuinely good movie. Seriously. I'm as surprised as anyone.
It takes itself as seriously as Attack of the Clones tries to, but it actually earns it. It made me feel emotions?? Like, actual real emotions that aren't just embarrassment or boredom??? I got genuinely emotional at a few points in the movie, and even teared up a bit at seeing Padme and Obi-wan deal with finding out Anakin had turned to the dark side. Where Anakin just came off super whiny and annoying in Episode 2, I think he actually comes off as a pretty sympathetic character and really sells his fall to the dark side here. Now, I'm not going to go so far as to say it's as good a movie as the original trilogy or The Force Awakens, but hitting hard, sad emotional notes is one thing that, IMO, this movie does better than any other Star Wars movie.
Not that it's perfect by any stretch. The fact that Padme seems to primarily exist to be fridged so Anakin can turn to the dark side, and the lack of women in the trilogy in general, is a problem. It completely wastes General Grievous as a character, especially after how terrifying he was in the 2D Clone Wars cartoon. Yoda with a lightsaber is still stupid, and Palpatine's transformation into his Final Form was the most unintentionally comedic part of the movie. To be honest, though, the worst thing about this movie is how bad Attack of the Clones is, which drags this one down with it a bit. If Episode 2 had set up Anakin's relationships with Padme and Obi-wan better, the payoff in this movie could have been so much more poignant.
Overall, though? Yeah. I liked it way more than I was expecting to.